Scott Shigeoka was feeling overwhelmed by the anger and fear saturating our public life in the U.S. So he did something radical: he quit his job and hit the road. For a year he lived out of his car, showered at gyms, and intentionally immersed himself in unfamiliar communities—an effort made all the more challenging given his identity as a city-dwelling, liberal, Asian American, spiritually queer professor from Hawaii.

Over 45,000 miles, he visited Trump rallies, anti-LGBTQ+ groups, and religious congregations. His aim wasn’t to argue, but to understand—to see if Americans might rediscover a sense of connection despite their differences. What he found was telling: the heart of our national discontent isn’t just disagreement. He found a deeper affliction—a failure of curiosity, a reluctance to truly engage with people outside our own tribe.

He also learned that curiosity is a practice, something we can use every day. This insight inspired him to write a book, Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World. Learning to go deep with curiosity, he says, can be the key to unlocking positive well-being and in the relationships in our lives.

"Based on my interviews, observations, and research, I’ve come to see that the common thread behind a lot of our disconnection, suffering, and polarization today is incuriosity: closing ourselves off from understanding the perspectives, stories, and humanity of others."

"If we want to strengthen our relationships rather than rupture them, we have to learn to ask more powerful questions rather than pass judgment. We need to become the kind of people who search for stories rather than positions, and values instead of views. We have to look inside of ourselves, getting curious about our own past and emotions, and not just rely on learning about the world outside of us."

BOOK EXCERPT: How Curiosity Can Help Us Overcome Disconnection