Aja Hammerly works in developer relations and software engineering. She publishes the blog Thagomizer and currently serves as Director of Developer Experience AI at Google.

In her career Aja Hammerly has developed a handful of “magic” phrases that make her professional life easier. One of her favorites is “We don’t do that here.”

She first encountered the phrase in college when a visitor used “gay” as a pejorative. A student calmly responded, “We don’t do that here.” When the visitor got defensive, the student simply repeated it. No debate, no explanation—just a firm cultural boundary.

Like it or not, leaders must act as custodians of culture. People look to us to define what is and isn’t acceptable. Setting culture is difficult and often uncomfortable. For a long time Hammerly avoided it, dreading debates and justifications. She learned the hard way that explaining why something is inappropriate can be exhausting—and often ineffective.

That’s where “We don’t do that here” comes in. It’s a conversation ender, not an argument starter. It doesn’t impose morality; it simply sets the cultural norm. 

Hammerly says that in an ideal world, we wouldn’t need negative rules—just guiding values like “Be kind.” But when that fails, this phrase is a powerful tool for setting boundaries with clarity and finality.

I'm going to follow her lead.

ARTICLE: We Don't Do That Here