October 17, 2025

Civics

“If you wanted to design a system to break empathy, you could scarcely do better than the society we’ve created.”

Jamil Zaki is the director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Laboratory. Concerned by the decline of empathy and kindness he saw in society—marked by rising tribalism, isolation, and growing barriers to understanding—he brought these concerns into his lab. There he discovered that empathy is not a fixed trait but a skill that can be cultivated and strengthened through practice.

This realization became the driving force behind his book, The War for Kindness. He wrote it to inspire readers to actively cultivate empathy within themselves and their communities.

The book examines how modern society erodes empathy—through polarization, tribalism, digital isolation, and institutional “warrior mentalities,” especially within policing and tight in-group loyalty. Zaki illustrates empathy’s transformative potential with real stories: a former skinhead who discovers shared humanity and renounces hate, incarcerated people who find self-understanding through literature, and NICU nurses who learn strategies to sustain compassion without burning out.

He also outlines practical tools and programs for cultivating empathy—reading, cross-group friendships, loving-kindness meditation, restorative justice practices, and emerging uses of technology, such as virtual reality and support platforms, that help bridge isolation and division.

Zaki concludes that the future—whether meaner or kinder—depends on the choices we make about how to feel and act. The “war” for kindness, he writes, is a battle worth fighting, with profound implications for peace, justice, and human connection in a fractured world.

“Empathy is not a superpower after all... Instead, empathy is more like a muscle that can be strengthened through consistent effort and intentional practice.”

“Empathy is in short supply. Isolation and tribalism are rampant. We struggle to understand people who aren’t like us, but find it easy to hate them. Studies show that we are less caring than we were even thirty years ago… The future may depend on whether we accept the challenge.”


BOOK: The War for Kindness

Civics

Kindness is a courageous act that expresses your values even when others do not.

ARTICLE: Compassion and the Individual

Civics

“If you wanted to design a system to break empathy, you could scarcely do better than the society we’ve created.”

BOOK: The War for Kindness

Civics

"Parties are a public service, you’re doing people a favor by throwing them."

‍ARTICLE: 21 Facts About Throwing Good Parties

Civics

“We can change the world if we start listening to one another again.”

BOOK: TURNING TO ONE ANOTHER. Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future